Whether they are sports fans or not, most Americans are aware of March Madness. In March, basketball reigns supreme for weeks as 64+ NCAA college basketball teams are invited to participate in a huge tournament, fighting and clawing their way to the national championship. In March 2020, one of the first signs that the pandemic was going to be a really big deal was the abrupt cancellation of March Madness. When basketball was shut down, we wondered, in disbelief, what in the world was happening. Little did we know.
When our 4 kids were growing up, for whatever reason, I felt that it was important to educate them on the ways of the world, make them aware of things that happen throughout the year. It was typical for me to talk through the calendar, listing holidays, birthdays and other events in chronological order, to help them remember what came after what. In January, we have New Year’s and Martin Luther King Jr holiday; in February, we have (my son) Will’s birthday and Valentine’s Day; in March,… I realize, now, that I was mimicking my dad, who unwittingly introduced a cherished family quote when he expressed his weariness with writing sermons after decades of church ministry. He was nearing retirement, and, when asked if it was hard to produce sermons every week, he let out a big sigh and said “Easter (sigh)……Mother’s Day (sigh)......Memorial Day (sigh)…..Father’s Day (sigh)……” I think he had said all that he could say, and, yet, he was expected to highlight the holidays, year after year. Nowadays, anytime we feel overwhelmed with responsibility, the hits just keep coming, but we have no energy to deal with it, we often say, “Easter (sigh)……Mother’s Day (sigh)..….Memorial Day (sigh)…..Father’s Day (sigh)….”
When our 4 kids were young, we had a ritual every night, which we called Prayers. In truth, we did say a nightly “Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep” prayer, but Prayers was so much more than that. All of our kids would come into one bedroom and we would sit, usually in the dark, talking. I often reviewed the chronological calendar. Sometimes, we would talk about things that had happened, sometimes we would talk about things that were going to happen, and sometimes we would make up stories. The longest running set of stories were “Falling Out of a Spaceship” stories. My son had had a scary dream where he was falling out of a spaceship. He was nervous about going to sleep, afraid that he might dream again. So, during Prayers, to calm his concern, I said, “Well, if I was falling out of a spaceship, I would like to land in the jungle.” And then, I made up a compelling story about a jungle adventure. Then, I asked each kid to make up his/her own story about where he or she would land, and what would happen. For months (maybe years?) we would come up with “Falling Out of a Spaceship” stories, here and there, revising them to cover time travel (I’d land in the time of dinosaurs), shrinkage (I’d become the size of an ant), expansion (I’d be as big as the Empire State Building), multiplicity (I’d have 3 versions of me land in different places), and all kinds of crazy stories. We would often start a story, add “And Then…”, so that the next kid would pick up the story and put his/her own spin on it, “And Then…”, for the next kid, until everyone had multiple chances to contribute.
Sometimes, Prayers was more active, kids gathered, but lights left on. We might read aloud, or look at pictures. In March, I printed out a NCAA basketball tournament bracket for every kid. Each kid filled out a bracket to guess which teams he/she thought would win. We would look at our brackets during Prayers to see how our teams had faired. Mind you, the kids had no particular knowledge about any of the teams—they just picked whoever they felt like. In the relaxed, nonbinding game, we were only playing for bragging rights, not for cash, so I let the kids update their brackets if their chosen teams lost, Well, NOW, who do you think will win? It kept them interested while we enjoyed the friendly competition.
As our kids grew older, the 12-year age disparity between the oldest and the youngest made it harder to hold everyone’s attention during Prayers. We had a successful series of playing a few quiet games, such as Pick-Up-Sticks (the game where you drop a handful of long skinny sticks, then try to pick each one up without moving any other stick--steady hand required.) But, over time, Prayers became more rambunctious, so that, instead of winding everyone down, it started ramping everyone up. We eventually had to pull the plug and send everyone to their rooms. Appropriately long tuck-in for each kid, but no more Prayers. Then, they grew up.
In March, for Rob & I, basketball takes center stage. I love that most of my kids appreciate the excitement, the agony, the surprise, and the tradition of March Madness. They fill out tournament brackets, hoping to win their office betting pool. They cheer for the upsets they predicted, and lament the unexpected departure of a proven team. They embrace the human interest stories and enjoy the competition.
I’m so glad that the NCAA basketball tournament is back this year. It’s Madness, I tell you! It’s what we do. And, I look with anticipation, and not a single sigh in my voice, at what’s coming up next….. Easter…..Mother’s Day….Memorial Day….Father’s Day….