Ouch

So much for getting a lot done. I have a large home project going on. This past weekend I was taking the bull by the horns, so to speak, to try and knock out a big portion of this project. But, as they say, accidents do happen.

So, here I am in the ER, getting evaluated. Seriously, I am in the Emergency Room right this very minute. I am twiddling my thumbs waiting for results from the CT scans that were just performed. I am slightly medicated, so I cannot be held responsible for anything that I transcribe on my phone notes app while I am here.  You’re getting unfiltered me. That's my disclaimer.

Part of this big project I mentioned involves building furniture. The trend nowadays is to order furniture online and then have strong delivery persons bring outlandishly oversized, heavy boxes to your house. You then have the pleasure of opening the boxes, pulling out a million pieces of furniture parts of various sizes, reading instructions, locating a gazillion tiny screws and bolts and washers and hinges and nuts and other random hardware parts that are conveniently packaged together, supplementing with tools that are not provided, and then, lucky you, building the piece of furniture. Easy peasy.

I have received LOTS of boxes, and I have assembled LOTS of furniture. I read and follow directions. But, I also have a slight tendency to think I can figure it out as I go, especially when it comes to using tools and hardware that I am not all that acquainted with. So far, everything had gone fairly smoothly. Until this time.

But first, let me talk about Allen. You know......Allen. As in Allen Wrench. Here is a picture of SOME (not all) of the Allen Wrenches included in the furniture boxes that I have assembled.

Allen. I hate that guy. 

If you aren't handy, you mightn't have run across dear Allen.  I have also heard him referred to as Hex Key. Allen's hexagon shape fits perfectly into the hexagon head of a bolt. Once Allen Wrench is securely positioned on a bolt, you can turn Allen clockwise to tighten the bolt. But it's not always easy to line the hexagons up perfectly. Especially when the bolt is hiding up in a recess that's set at an angle within the cavernlike depths of furniture pieces. So, I have spent a lot of time wiggling the wrench to try and match its shape to the hexagon on the bolt. Sight unseen. Feeling with my fingers. Then, once it’s connected, depending on the angle and placement of the other strips of wood, there may or may not be enough room to swing the wrench to the right to tighten up the bolt. Many times, I have gotten the wrench lined up, but had no space to turn it, because Allen immediately banged into other parts of the furniture piece. Hardly a millimeter of space to move. Extremely frustrating. 

Not only that, but, after repeatedly squeezing and pushing with a pincer grip, my index finger and thumb felt quite tender and overused. As I tried to tighten bolts, each sharp movement made my fingers more and more sore. The thin hard metal with hexagonal ridges rubbed my skin again and again. Allen can be very hard on the digits.

Now, I know I'm not a carpenter, and I don't do this kind of thing very often. I don’t have a giant toolbox of supplies ready to go. So, maybe there are tricks of the trade that I don't know about. But, in my ignorance, I have developed a general dislike for Mr. Allen Wrench.

But, I can't blame Allen for my recent trouble. I was using a power drill with a screwdriver bit to fasten screws while assembling a dining chair. One screw was giving me a fit, refusing to dig into the wood. I decided to lean in, way in, on the power drill, hoping that my body weight would nudge the screw forward. But, unexpectedly, I mean very unexpectedly, the drill hit a snag and kicked back very hard into the right side of my chest. Took my breath away.

And then the pain started. Sharp pain when I moved, sharp pain when I breathed. Super sharp pain when I coughed or sneezed. I tried to suck it up and get through the rest of the day. But, by the next day, when I detected a few other symptoms, I decided to get it looked at. Being a holiday weekend, my medical options were limited, so I headed to the hospital Emergency Room.

Which is where I am now.

Since the doctor hasn't returned yet, I have nothing to report, so I’ll take a break here and come back in a few minutes when I can tell you "the rest of the story." Here are some lovely scenic photos that I took in the past. Just to give you something to look at while we wait for the doc to come back in.

OK, I'm back. Final diagnosis-- deep chest wall contusion. No broken rib (or broken bone of any kind.) Rest, ice, pain medicine. Carry on, but take it easy. That'll be $$$$$$$ dollars, thank you very much.

I've been known to tackle a home improvement project or two--massive paint job, tile the kitchen floor, cover the paneling, refinish cabinets, tile bathroom walls, lay flooring, etc. I never know what I'm getting into until I dive in head-first. Most projects have turned out well, and I ask for help when I need it. 

Did I overreach a little by tackling my furniture assembly project? I know my way around the toolbox, but only as a casual user. I don't know any expert secrets. Maybe if I had, I wouldn't find myself at home laying on the sofa under a well-placed ice pack. But, all's well that ends well. I finished building the chair. And there are more boxes that need to be unloaded, and more assembly to be done. I think I can power through, albeit more cautiously next time.

Clumsy, not paying attention, klutzy, accident-prone, unlucky. Words that have been said about me when I fall victim to one of my many injuries and mishaps. People come to expect it of me. I expect it of me. Trust me, people, you have no idea. I was just getting over my broken toe, which I broke by accidentally stepping down too hard while my toes were curled under. I heard the bone crunching, and then my toe swelled up, turning a lovely shade of blue/purple/black. It was painful, but I was able to walk and it barely slowed me down. Par for the course.

BTW, I did go back later and edit this post, so you did not get raw Gwen who was suffering in the Emergency Room. I tamed it down a notch.

Are you handy? Is DIY your jam? Have you undertaken any home improvement projects?  How did those work out for you? Do you have the skills and know-how?  And, can you pass along any cautionary tales or practical advice to me?  When my Tim the Tool Man ambitions kick in, I need all the help I can get.

Gracias.