New Beginnings

Is there anything more exciting than New Beginnings? Or more terrifying? As I’ve discussed before, some New Beginnings are taken on willfully, while others are thrust upon us whether we like it or not. Regardless of how they come to be, New Beginnings can open a world of opportunity for those who are willing to look. This time of year, I think fondly of New Beginnings as I see the celebrations and hoopla surrounding young people graduating and advancing on in their lives. What a special cherished time for them and their families. We don’t have any graduations in our immediate family this year, but I celebrate the excitement with other friends and family.  High School and College graduations have been abundant in recent months.

When a young person receives a diploma or earns a degree, there is one thing for certain: Things will never be the same. They will be venturing on to new jobs, different living conditions, additional education, increased responsibilities, and/or other changes in their lifestyle that come with the passage of time. As teens/young adults, they are primed to take on the world with whatever skills and knowledge they have accumulated. Fears and uncertainties may linger, but for most young people that I know, the excitement and anticipation of the future is palpable. They can’t wait to get started. What an exciting time.

Which makes me think of my coming-of-age years when I graduated from college back in the 1980s. I attended a small conservative college in rural South Carolina. While we had a rip-roaring good time full of stories that will never die, my close friends and extended friends all shared a somewhat sheltered experience over the 4 years of dorm-dwelling academia. We had a lot of people looking out for us. And, we had little responsibility outside of our educational requirements. For many of us, Mom & Dad footed most of the bills and provided much of what we needed.

When I graduated from college, I was ready to tackle the world. On my terms. I turned down a lucrative job offer from a Fortune 500 company, much to my parents’ chagrin. I think my dad had an actual spit take, spewing coffee everywhere, when I informed him of my decision to forego the ‘real’ job and, instead, move to Charleston with my friends. Charleston, South Carolina, was beckoning to us, with its beaches, casual living, college/grad school/medical school atmosphere, Southern Charm, and young people galore. I was thrilled that I had an adventurous plan, and that I didn’t have to move back home with my parents.

Five of us young women rented our first official apartment, a 2-bedroom townhouse in Mount Pleasant, just outside of Charleston. The very first day we entered the apartment, we were greeted by a swarm of German cockroaches who were nesting in the range hood over the kitchen stove. Call the landlord! NOW!!! Had they been the giant Palmetto bug version of cockroach, I would have never set foot in the apartment again. But, these were merely little brown bugs, so I let the exterminators do their job, and then I was good to go. In case you're wondering, the warm humid Lowcountry of Charleston is crawling with Palmetto bugs, so I did see my fair share of those terrifying insects. But, thankfully, not in an enormous swarm all at once. But, I digress.

All of us roommates worked to set up our apartment with whatever items we could scrounge together. Furniture was hard to come by.  In those days, literally everyone that we knew had bookshelves made from 2 concrete cinderblocks with a plank of plywood on top. And a sufficiently good stereo system. The bigger the speakers, the better.  As was expected, we had the bare minimum of furnishings in our shag carpet apartment. Times were tough and we were always broke. Poor as all get-out. I worked multiple minimum wage jobs in retail and hospitality. Part of my responsibility was to bring home leftover food from my restaurant jobs whenever I could, so that we had something to eat. There was a friend who worked on a shrimp boat, and he sometimes brought us the bycatch (never the shrimp) from their day’s haul. We managed well. We were resourceful, we worked hard, and, of course, we were always up for the nightlife.

One of my roommates had an old hand-me-down station wagon whose windshield wipers didn’t work. Her job was the farthest away, including drives over several bridges, most notably the dauntingly immense Cooper River Bridge. My jobs were much closer than hers, so, on rainy days, we would switch cars, and I would do my best to see through the rainy windshield as I drove to work, often leaning my head out of the window despite the pouring rain. Better me than her. Those were the kinds of decisions that we made as young women starting out in our new adult lives.

Note that, according to neurological research and car insurance company policies, the human brain does not fully mature until the age of (roughly) 25. Here’s a quote from The National Institute of Mental Health, nimh.hih.gov. "The brain finishes developing and maturing in the mid-to-late 20s. The part of the brain behind the forehead, called the prefrontal cortex, is one of the last parts to mature. This area is responsible for skills like planning, prioritizing, and making good decisions."

Despite our iffy choices, our lack of resources, and our uncertainties about the future, that time with friends crammed into the 2 bedroom apartment in Charleston remains one of my favorite memories. It wasn’t all fun and games, but it was the beginning of my adult life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. We were starting anew, figuring it out, being on our own.   Each day was not fun or memorable or important. But, the experience as a whole was. We started testing the waters. Learning the ropes. Experimenting here and there. Finding out what it was like to be living out there in the great big grownup world.

Y'all, we didn't take pictures back then as much as people do now. And, photos were much much blurrier. I couldn't find any pictures of us 1980s roommates all together. But, here are pictures at a wedding just a couple of years later. The 5 of us-- 4 bridesmaids and the bride herself.

Good times, good times.

As new graduates, we felt that the possibilities were endless, even if we struggled day-to-day. Eventually, we peeled away one-by-one to take on new adventures. I lived in Charleston with the girls only about 6 months. I had started taking night classes at College of Charleston so that I could hit all the prerequisites for graduate school. Then I moved to Columbia, South Carolina to start work on my Masters Degree at University of South Carolina.  Many more New Beginnings came along after that.

If you are facing New Beginnings, I encourage you to look with optimism at the choices that lay in front of you. Few paths will be easy, but many will be rewarding. Pray that the Good Lord gives you the strength to make the decisions that you need to make. And, allow your friends and family to support you in any way that they can. Inspire those young people who are starting new chapters in their lives. Tap into their excitement and enthusiasm as you face your own New Beginnings.

A popular saying from my youth was

But, being a goofball myself, I also like Steve Martin’s version.

Facing New Beginnings? Best wishes for joyful journeys, enlightenment, and much success to you and your loved ones!