Get Back

Now that American football season is in full swing, we have been watching our fair share of college and professional football games. Rob and I were recently talking about the many American football teams that have a sideline Get Back Coach. If you are unfamiliar with that job, here’s your tutorial.

During a football game, things can often get spicy. Coaches are under a tremendous amount of pressure to call the right plays, adjustment assignments, out-maneuver the opposing coaches, and guide their team towards a victory. Many things stand in their way. Not the least of which are the referees. Sometimes, that is. If a coach thinks that a referee has made a bad call or ignored an obvious infraction, and thereby unjustly affected his team negatively, then there is a good chance that the coach will get hot under the collar. Angry coaches have been known to scream, throw things, and even storm out onto the field to confront the referee with their displeasure. All in the heat of the moment. Those impulsive emotional actions can result in even more penalties levied against the team.

Thus, the Get Back Coach.

Someone on the coaching staff is charged with the task of monitoring the other coaches when there is potential for an outburst. Because, at any given time, only those players who are actively playing are allowed on the field. The designated Get Back Coach keeps team personnel on the sidelines where they are required to stay. This involves friendly reminders, gentle nudges, and, as described on Google AI Overview, “Restraining leaders when they get too enthusiastic.”  Get Back Coaches sometimes grab belt buckles to drag coaches back to their assigned spaces. Get Back Coaches sometimes employ bear hugs to walk coaches back to the appropriate area. Get Back Coaches are the calm, cool, and collected voices of the sidelines, making sure that people under their charge don’t overreact when under emotional distress. They keep an eye on the rules and the big picture of trying to win the game, despite the ups and downs that send passions flying in the heat of battle.

It's a fascinating concept. Here are pics of some football coaches being 'attended to' by their Get Back Coaches.

And, since I can turn anything into a discussion about me-- you know, making things relatable and all--I thought of a similar story in my own family. Sort of.

When we were young parents with even younger kids, we ran into a dilemma.  Our youngest at the time was a toddler who I will refer to as Mad Dash. Mad Dash was always on the go. We could not keep her under control. No matter where we went, Mad Dash would run from us with wild abandon. She was able to wiggle out of any stroller or carrier and run like someone left the gate open, before we could react. I don’t know how many times she sprinted into the middle of her older brother’s soccer practice, surrounded by bigger boys blocking and kicking all around her.

Once, at a bowling alley birthday party, Mad Dash jumped down from a chair and ran out onto our bowling lane. I was half a second behind her, trying to grab her before she made it all the way down to the bowling pins at the end of the lane. Then suddenly I wasn’t. I Crashed. No…. I Slip, Bang, Smashed. In case you didn’t know, bowling lanes are oiled to protect the wood, control ball movement, and increase bowling challenges. Apparently, a 25-pound child is light enough to skim over the oily lane unscathed, but a 100-and-something pound adult is not. I rushed to the well-oiled lane without thinking, and as soon as my rented bowling shoes hit the surface, my legs zipped out from under me, Swoosh!, I flew up 3 feet into the air horizontally, and slammed back onto the floor with a great big crash. I’m certain that onomatopoeic graphics (like you would see in a campy 1960s Batman TV show) hung over my head. Something along the lines of: THUNK!!  KER-PLUNK!! KAPOW!!  SPLATT!!  WHAMMM!!  ZWAPP!!  EEE-YOW!!  All illustrated in jagged speech bubbles to mark the violent nature of the fall. The good news is that I was relatively unharmed-- bruised and sore, but nothing else. And, on her own, Mad Dash returned from her escape as I nursed my injuries.

Because of experiences like that, we bought a Child Safety Leash. We buckled Mad Dash into her leash and harness every time we went to public places where safety was a concern. It worked like a charm. The fasteners were all in back so that she couldn’t manipulate them or squiggle loose. She resisted a little, but grew to understand the confines of the leash.  Sometimes, I had to let go of the leash because I needed a minute with both of my hands, so I would tell her to stand there and hold her leash for me. She would stand on the spot holding the end of the leash obediently until I could take it back from her.  That was pretty funny. We used the leash for a while until Mad Dash aged a little and it was no longer necessary.

It was hard to find pictures of our Child Safety Leash days from the 1990s, but here are a few. I apologize for the poor photo quality, but you can get the idea here.

Both of these stories, the Get Back Coach and the Child Safety Leash, are stories about restraint. Stories about people who need a little help with self-control. It also reminds me that nowadays we often fall victim to our own impulses or our own tendencies to act without thought of repercussions.

We sometimes behave like an angry coach. When we feel slighted, underappreciated, or wronged, we might lash out unnecessarily. The consequences, especially these days, can be tragic. Even if not tragic, the consequences can be hurtful. Could we all use a Get Back Coach to keep us in check so that we don’t overreact, don’t go too far, don't cause even more problems? Someone to help us de-escalate the feelings that rise from within? To keep us from going overboard when we fail to regulate our emotions? Here’s an idea: if we feel affronted, or frustrated, or recognize the burn of rising anger, what if we could imagine a Get Back Coach tugging at our waist, pulling back a little, making sure we don’t do something that we might regret? The Voice of Reason.

Sometimes we act like a mischievous toddler, completely oblivious to the stress and harm that we cause others as we recklessly carry on in places where we should tread with caution. Just because we want to, or because we feel that we deserve it. I want what I want when I want it. Consequences be damned. Could we benefit from having a Child Safety Leash that tethers and grounds us to keep us safe? That stops us from venturing into territory that we are not equipped to handle? The little white angel on our shoulder that whispers in our ear to quieten the little red devil that hangs out on the other shoulder. Embodying the self-control that regulates our impulses and keeps us from saying things that we shouldn’t say or doing things that we know deep-down that we shouldn’t do. Even if we find ourselves holding the end of our own leash, could we benefit from using that leash and harness to tug us back just a little?

I know it's a little 'out there,' but maybe you can catch my drift.

In today’s atmosphere of one-upping insults, angry confrontations, violent arguments, and outbursts of all kinds, I think we all could benefit from a good sound dose of conscience. Be it a Get Back Coach, a Child Safety Leash, an Angel on My Shoulder, a Jiminy Cricket advisor, a Lesson in Civility, a Moral Compass, a Dose of Self-Discipline, Good Old Fashioned Common Sense, a Spiritual Awakening, or a Voice Within.

Anybody with me?