That Was Easy.

I just did the easiest thing ever. I couldn’t believe how smoothly it went. I was expecting the worst. But, I hardly had time to blink before it was already done. Completed. No sweat. No complications. No lengthy explanations. Nothing like that. It was a breeze. Piece of cake. Quick as a wink. Went down without a hitch. Worked like clockwork. It was effortless.

It happened today at 3:37PM Eastern Standard Time (EST). Not today, the day you are reading this; but, today, the day I am writing this. As for explanation, I will refer to when it happened as 3:37PMEST. And, I will refer to the time before that as B43:37PMEST.

I’m not what you would call ‘a shopper.’  I’m more of a get-in-and-get-out kind of person when I have a shopping task to perform. Mission-oriented. Of course, when I’m in a new location with interesting shops, I might meander around and do a little window-shopping. I’ll admit that can be fun. But, on a scale of 1 to 10, when it comes to receiving pleasure and joy from shopping, I fall between a 2 and 3.  Most of the time, I shop merely out of necessity.

Sometimes, you know, the world begins to change around you. Some of the changes, innovations, and new methods of doing things are easy to adapt to. Others are not.  For years in B43:37PMEST, I was reluctant to accept the new-fangled notion that one could order merchandise via the internet. Even though I didn’t care for shopping, in general, I was a real hands-on girl. I wanted to go into a store, touch the items, feel the weight in my hands, compare the products, evaluate the textures, analyze the size, color, sight and smell. If I had to shop, I liked to shop in person. Then 2020 arrived. The global pandemic. Out of need, I started to order groceries, toiletries, dogfood, and the like, on the internet. I reluctantly started to shop online, having things delivered to my home.

Sometimes I was disappointed in what I received, because it wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. One of my first online orders included a Vaseline blunder.  I needed some Vaseline Intensive Care Petroleum Jelly, for skin care. What I ordered (I thought) was a small jar of Vaseline. But, instead, look what I got.

Not what I expected. Four years later, I have used about half of this enormous jar of Vaseline.  How absurd is that? When ordering, I neglected to notice the size of the container or, even, the higher price, as it was a product that I rarely bought. That gaffe was one of the many reasons during B43:37PMEST years that I was reluctant to Add to Cart.

Another reason that I shied away from online orders was the Return Procedure. I am the worst at returning things to stores. Multiple mistakes sit around my house because I never got around to taking them back to a store to get a refund.  With online orders, I realized that not only did I have to take the item to a delivery center, but first I had to package it up and communicate with the selling company via email. Too many steps. What a hassle. Or, so I thought, back in B43:37PMEST.

Even amid my concerns, online commerce gradually grew on me. I warmed to the notion of perusing the variety of selections at my cyber fingertips. I began to have a little bit of faith in the system. I bought some things from specific retailers, but the omniscient presence of Amazon made me nervous. With reservation, I started to pay a monthly subscription fee to Amazon Prime, mainly because there was a streaming show that I wanted to watch on Prime Video.  I was fully aware that, with perks and promises, the powers-that-be would try to hold me hostage to the great internet commerce world. I knew that my ‘FREE SHIPPING’ benefit encouraged me to buy more and more stuff online, because, well, I didn’t have to pay for shipping. Knowing the influence that they tried to hold over me, I thought that I could fend Amazon off when I wanted to. Like a cat-and-mouse game, seeing who’s gonna give first.  I felt the heavy hand of Amazon, but I resisted the pull. Unless I was really looking for a product, and then I leaned into it. I treated Amazon, et al., cautiously. Like when you are standing beside two dogs that don’t know each other. Everything looks like its going fine, but you keep a wary eye on all parties to make sure things don’t take a bad turn. That's how I felt about shopping on Amazon.

So, you might ask, what happened at 3:37PMEST?  

From Amazon, I had just ordered European Adapter Plugs for electrical outlets. Those adapters allow one to safely plug a United States electrical device into a European wall outlet. (Yes indeedy. There’s a trip on the horizon, coming soon.) I ordered a 6-pack of plugs, as pictured here:

When my 6-pack of European Adapter Plugs arrived the NEXT DAY, there were only 3 plugs in the package. WHAT??? THE OUTRAGE!! HOW DARE THEY SWINDLE ME!! Knowing that I needed the plugs, I resolved to start the complaint/return/refund process. I sighed. OK, Here we go.

I raised my hackles as I attacked the Amazon order screen, prepared to fervently state my case and insist they make things right. I wanted to account for every penny of my $7.41 investment. To my amazement, on the screen Amazon gave me succinct instructions on how to complete the return process. With every drop-down menu, my questions were answered. Will you send me the missing 3 plugs? No, you need to return the incomplete order. Will I have to pay to return the package? No. Do I have to box up the package for shipping? No. I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly I flipped through the screens and received my return QR code. I spent, like, maybe 2 minutes, tops.

I was even more pleasantly surprised to see that I could return the adapters via my local Whole Foods grocery store, WHICH I HAD ALREADY BEEN PLANNING TO VISIT. I did not box, bag, wrap, tape, or print anything. I just walked into the store with the adapters, right to the Amazon Return Counter at the front of the store, and tossed the rejected items onto the counter. The attendant held out her zap gun and scanned the UR code on my phone. The only verbal exchange was each of us saying Thank You. That was it. Took about 10 seconds. At 3:37PMEST. Easiest transaction ever. The new replacement 6-pack adapter plugs were delivered to my house less than 12 hours later.

As of 3:37PMEST, I have a whole new respect for online shopping. I am ()not likely, ()somewhat likely, ()very likely, (X)definitely going to be shopping online for the holidays and beyond. I am a convert. That was so much easier than schlepping around town from store to store, wondering if the item I wanted was in stock. Everything about this shopping experience was easy as pie. Online shopping is da bomb! Not saying I'll give up the in-person experience, but I will be more likely to hop on my computer than I ever was B43:37PMEST.

I can’t imagine that you care about the minutiae regarding my online shopping experience. But, I appreciate you reading. Whether you enjoy it; or ridicule me for it; or print it out, tear into strips, and use it for fire starter, or emergency toilet paper, or whatever needs you might have. I’m happy to accommodate you as best as I can. Oh, Gwen, you’re such a silly girl.

Are you an online shopper? A serious shopper? A browser? An impulse buyer? Where do you land on the shopaholic scale of 1-10? Do you have any interesting Return Merchandise stories to share?