The Point of No Return

In a recent blog post, I mentioned my newfound interest in e-commerce, ordering products online. Throughout the end-of-year holidays and beyond, online purchasing has been a (mostly) positive experience for me. But there was that one snafu.

If you are an employee of Lands’ End company, I kindly request that you skip this part of the article. Nothing against you, I just don’t want Lands’ End policy enforcers to come sniffing around my door anytime soon. So, head on outta here and get yourself a cup-a-joe while we get through this part. You can come back and catch the end of the post. ‘Preciate it.

In November, I placed an order for 2 articles of clothing on the Lands’ End website. One item arrived within 5 days. The other did not. After about 12 days of tracking the missing item, I called Lands’ End Customer Service. Customer Service said all the right things, showed the appropriate amount of concern, and took my call seriously. The representative was very kind. We both surmised that the package had fallen into a delivery sinkhole and would most likely never be recovered. Caught between ‘In Transit’ and ‘Out For Delivery,” with no identifying markers.  Untraceable. Nowhere to be found. MIA. Slipped through the cracks. Kiss it goodbye. The Customer Service agent offered to re-submit the order and send me the item again. Sounded good to me.

Just before hanging up, the representative said, “Now, if the original item shows up at your house, just ship it back to us.” I laughed, and almost said, “Yeah, right.” But, something about her authoritative voice made me stop. It sounded like she was serious. So, I just ended the call by thanking her for her help. Within a few days, the replacement item that she promised arrived, as expected.

Now it's mid-January. Guess what showed up on my front porch yesterday? A package containing a Lands’ End Women's Lightweight Jersey Skimming Long Sleeve Turtleneck. It took me a minute to realize what it was. My original order from November. Delivered about two months later, long after I was already enjoying the replacement shirt.

I got a chuckle out of that, but then remembered what the Lands’ End agent had said. Ship it back. It only took me a minute to look online and find out that the Lands’ End return procedure costs money. Like, I would have to pay a $6.95 shipping charge to return the item. I balked at that, because, having taken advantage of sale prices, coupon codes, and specials, the Women's Lightweight Jersey Skimming Long Sleeve Turtleneck, regularly priced at $42.95, had only cost me $8.95. That’s all. Was I going to pay a fee of $6.95 now to have the privilege of returning this extra shirt to the company? That would be a No. A hard No.

When a product is unusable because of damage, mistake, disappointment, Act of God, or something else; and the customer is unsatisfied, I find that many companies don’t want the product returned. They leave the customer to deal with the cleanup of the unwanted/broken/extra/etc. product. Some companies require photographic proof of a damaged item before they send a replacement and tell you to dispose of the item.

As demonstrated with this damaged mirror situation. A company sent a replacement as soon as I rendered the cracked mirror photo. That's how the mirror arrived.

Enhanced, in case you can't see the crack clearly.

On the other hand, some companies ask you to return the unwanted item, but at their expense. Meaning, it doesn’t cost you anything to process the return—just your time.

I was surprised that Lands’ End wanted me to return their item at my own expense. Sure, it wasn’t their fault that the shipping company sucked lost the package, but it definitely wasn’t my fault, either. So, here I sit with two Women's Lightweight Jersey Skimming Long Sleeve Turtlenecks. I’m keeping the belated shirt purely on principal. Cheap? I guess I am. If I was not required to pay, I would have shipped the shirt back to them. Had I received the product, had a change of heart or sizing issue, or something like that, then I would take responsibility and pay to return it. But, I won’t pay a shipping cost that is roughly equivalent to my purchase price, to rectify someone else's mess-up. I just won’t.

Would you pay to return the item? Do you think I am cheating the company? Am I justifying my actions using warped logic? Am I being a bad girl?

I don't know what I'll do with the extra shirt. It’s a really nice base layer turtleneck for winter weather. I might give it to one of my daughters. Or a friend. Or even donate it to a worthy cause. That’s To Be Determined.

Here's the first Women's Lightweight Jersey Skimming Long Sleeve Turtleneck, color: Aqua Surf, which I have worn multiple times. Or, could this be the newly-arrived shirt from the previous photo, removed from the packaging to be modelled so brazenly? Let me cover my bases here and protect myself from tattletales. I will not photograph both shirts together, because that would prove that I do, in fact, have 2 shirts. That they exist separately from one another. You know, like Superman and Clark Kent can't be in the same place at the same time. Or Bruce Wayne and Batman. Anyway, I will leave it at that, without showing photo evidence of both shirts, which could incriminate me. See, the whole situation is just hearsay, anyway. You can't prove it. Not without a search warrant.

Hey, Lands’ End associates, come on back in. Glad to have you rejoin our conversation. Don’t worry about any of the gobble-de-gook above that you missed. Not a single thing of importance for you to worry about, or take to your supervising manager. There’s nothing to see here.

Certainly not a Women's Lightweight Jersey Skimming Long Sleeve Turtleneck.

Or two.