Do you ever look at other people and wonder why they act that way? Like, What’s wrong with you? Do you ever sit in judgement, thinking that you would handle things differently, that they are not doing as they should? Nah, me neither.
OK, if I’m being honest, I guess I do. It’s pretty easy for me to become judgmental about others. To narrow my eyes and shake my head, and say, "Those people are wrong and someone should tell them why." Have you ever noticed, though, that sometimes, those of us who have a bone to pick with others often don’t know the whole story? Or, misunderstand the situation, or the other people’s position? Or, if we are honest, we are just looking for a scapegoat to blame things on? That’s the way it looks from here, present company included.
I had an embarrassing moment a number of years ago. I was a young adult, just getting started in my career. I was using my computer science degree working at a corporate office in the computer department. There were 20-something employees in our department. One time, in late January, we had an impromptu meeting in the central gathering area of our department. We had all been called away from our desks to get the latest information about something that was happening. While we stood around waiting for the important announcements, I noticed that a small 2-foot decorated Christmas tree was sitting on top of one of the cubicles near someone’s desk. February was just around the corner, and I wondered in my head, Why is that Christmas tree still there? Why haven’t these people taken the time to put that away? With my best snarky voice, I called out, “So who’s in charge of taking down that Christmas tree??” Without missing a beat, one of my co-workers shouted back, “I guess the same person who’s in charge of putting away your Christmas mug!” I looked down, and sure enough, I was standing there drinking my morning tea out a Christmas mug that I had brought from home. Five weeks after Christmas. Touché.
There is a verse from Matthew in the Bible which says “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” The passage goes on to instruct people to deal with their own faults and problems before they start trying to fix other people. As my eye doctor informs me, I have the beginnings of a cataract in one of my eyes. Let me tell you that having an obstruction in the eye affects my vision. In the literal sense, it seems ridiculous that I would try to point out other people's flaws when I cannot see clearly while something foreign impedes my vision. In the figurative sense, it seems ridiculous that I would try to point out other people's flaws when I have plenty of flaws of my own.
Why do we find it so easy to criticize others, while simultaneously ignoring our own faults? Really, why? I’m asking you, why? I don’t have the answers. Now, more than ever, people seem to blame others for the misfortunes of life without owning up to the realization that they might also share responsibility for the current situations. Also, people are quick to dismiss others whose ideas don’t align with their own, seeing them as flawed and off-base. We stand around with a plank in our eye and a Christmas mug in our hand, asking other people, "What’s wrong with you?"
Or, is it just me?
In my preschool classroom, kids often point out what other kids are doing wrong. At the tender ages of 4 and 5, many of the kids misinterpret what they see, and they call attention to things that are not important. I sometimes tell them not to worry about the other child, but worry about themselves and think about whether they are doing the right thing. My message to all of us is the same. We should worry about ourselves and see if we are doing what we should be doing, instead of pointing out the problems of other people. Remember, when you extend your arm and point at someone, one finger is pointing at them, and three fingers are pointing back at you.
Instead of harping on other people, don't you think it would be wise to look inside ourselves to say “What’s wrong with YOU?”, and “What can YOU do to improve yourself?” Get a crowbar and start digging the plank out of our own eyes. The view might look much different if we do. Those other people whom we've been complaining about might not be as sideways as we think. If we try to straighten ourselves up and stop judging and criticizing other people, we might find some common ground with them. We might feel less inclined to scrutinize them or say "What's wrong with you?"
Instead, we might feel inclined to spend time with them, hang out with them, commune with them and even share a toast.
A toast to life! Join me. Let’s clink our Christmas mugs together.
To Life and all the People in it!
