Tag: change of plans

A week before Thanksgiving, my daughter received a surprise at work. A 14-lb frozen turkey. How nice!  Apparently, her new employer gives out turkeys before the holiday. She didn’t get the memo, so the turkey arrived at her desk completely unexpected. That was really nice.  She expressed appreciation and then, on her lunch hour, drove across town to our house, put the turkey on the kitchen counter and said, “What am I supposed to do with that?”  Rob walked into the kitchen, took one look at the turkey thawing on the counter and said, “What am I supposed to do with that?” A few minutes later, I walked into the kitchen, took a gander at the bird and said, “What am I supposed to do with that?” Don’t we sound ungrateful? Shame on us, it’s the season of Thanksgiving.

But, here’s the thing. Our Thanksgiving plans were already solidified. In 3 days I was leaving town to spend Thanksgiving week helping a family member with knee replacement surgery, my first Thanksgiving away from my kids. Rob, determined that the show must go on, had ordered a Honey Baked Ham and Turkey and planned side dishes that our grown kids would help prepare as they arrived home for the holidays. We had our Thanksgiving plans in place, and a 14-lb frozen turkey did not fit into our plans. It also did not fit into our freezer, which was packed with waffles, egg rolls, vegetables, re-packaged meats, and one or more cartons of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.  We knew that a frozen turkey had to be thawed for several days before it could be cooked, and we knew that our schedules did not align with the turkey’s schedule. Hence, the reaction, “What am I supposed to do with that?”

How do you like surprises? Are you quick to change your plans to accommodate the new situation? If so, good for you, I’m proud of you. Maybe you can give me some pointers to help me figure out how to appreciate surprises and accept them gracefully.  Unfortunately, I don’t always do well with surprises.

I know that some surprises are welcomed, especially when benefactors provide much needed help to those who are struggling. It’s all celebration and thankfulness when Ebenezer Scrooge sends the large prize turkey to Bob Cratchit’s family.

“A merry Christmas, Bob!” said Scrooge, with an earnestness that could not be mistaken, as he clapped him on the back. “A merrier Christmas, Bob, my good fellow, than I have given you, for many a year! I’ll raise your salary, and endeavor to assist your struggling family, and we will discuss your affairs this very afternoon, over a Christmas bowl of smoking bishop, Bob!”

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, taken from The Project Gutenberg website

My dad was the minister of a small church. As his years of service added up, some of the church leaders decided to hold a surprise celebration to commemorate his time at the church. They made secret plans, trying to keep him in the dark. On the designated Sunday, my dad was completely surprised and caught off guard when out-of-town family and friends suddenly appeared. The church leaders ushered him away from the front-and-center pulpit so that he could sit with us, his family, while others conducted the Sunday service. Then they held a celebratory meal afterwards.  All was well and good. It was a successful event, full of appreciation and love. Later, at home, my dad expressed his surprise and his gratitude that others would go to such lengths to honor him. Then, he admitted that he was really disappointed that he didn’t get to deliver the sermon he had prepared. He thought it was a really good message, it was completely appropriate for that day, and it would not translate well to a different Sunday. He was really bummed that he would have to put that one back on the shelf, maybe forever. He was thankful and appreciated the surprise, but was disappointed that he didn’t get to share something that he had worked so hard to produce. I hope that he was able to include that message in a sermon at a later date.

Back when I was having a milestone birthday, Rob secretly planned a Surprise Birthday Party. I was none-the-wiser, and went along with activities that I later realized were stall tactics to get me out of the house. When my mom and my sister (Rob’s partners in crime) finally allowed me to return home that night, I was surprised to see lots of cars parked on our street (the neighbors must be entertaining!) I had barely enough time to notice that extra umbrellas were casually tossed around our front porch, as I walked into the house. Here’s where things took an interesting turn. Being quick-witted, I put 2 and 2 together and expected to see some friends in my house waiting for me to walk into the family room.  What I did not expect to see was 30 people holding up Gwen masks as they yelled "Surprise!". Really, they were. I walked into the guts of our house and saw 30 Gwens looking at me. I was so shocked, I almost fell over. That was a surprise.

It is well-known within my house that I do not like big heads. Anything with an oversized person’s head. It scares me. I’m talking about those large cardboard heads that people hold up to support their favorite star. I’m talking about team mascots that have human looking heads. I’m talking about costumes where the head resembles a person, but is distorted in size. Animal heads or inanimate objects with heads--that's ok. But, oversized human heads--heebie jeebies. See examples below.

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Listen, I won't make fun of things that you're afraid if you don't make fun of things that I'm afraid of. Actually, I might laugh at you, but, hey, you started it.

Back to the story...the celebratory Gwens were not big heads, per se. They were sized about like a regular person’s head, and mounted on sticks for easy holding. But, the effect of seeing 30 of them at the same time was like seeing a big head. It was unnerving. The Gwen masks were put away as the evening festivities took off and the Surprise Party was a lot of fun (once I got over the scaries.) I really appreciated the time and effort that it took to make the party such a fun event. It was a wonderfully memorable evening. (At least one of the Gwen masks is sitting somewhere around our house, even now, but when I looked for it I couldn't find it.)

How do you handle surprises?

For me, I will always appreciate the effort that someone takes to surprise me. But, I sometimes have trouble accepting the surprise if, like my father’s sermon, the surprise interrupts something that I had planned. I find it hard to shift gears when I’m heading in a specific direction. If, say, I’m driving down the road with a clear destination on a predetermined route and someone throws a 14-lb frozen turkey in the road. I’ll pull my car to a screeching halt and say “What am I supposed to do with that?”

Thank you, thank you, thank you, my daughter’s company for the gift of turkey. Because we aren't able to cook it now, we will either find a reliable freezer with room to store it, or donate it so that someone else can enjoy it. And, next year, we will look forward to your generous gift. Now that we know the tradition, we will know what to expect. It won’t be a surprise.