I love activities that are introspective, that make you take stock, look inside and evaluate yourself. Apparently, a lot of other people do, too, based on the proliferation of online surveys and questionnaires. But, I suggest you skip the online surveys—you don’t need all your personal information floating around online. I'd like to tell you about three introspective activities that our family did over a period of several years. Activities that included answering questions about ourselves in a harmless, fun way. These are things that I planned for my family, and we enjoyed doing them very much. Because these activities were designed by me, they were a little labor-intensive, but I was willing to put in the work to achieve the goal of creating a family moment. Perhaps you too will get inspired to pull family or friends together with get-to-know-you-better frivolity. I can feel the anticipation in the air, so let me get on with it…
When we were getting together with extended family, I wanted everyone to spend some time bonding. I created a list of about 25 questions, printed and distributed them, and asked everyone to secretly fill out their answers. Questions were along the lines of “What is your favorite color?”, “If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?”, “What is your favorite dessert?”, “When were you most embarrassed?”, etc. After everyone completed their answers, I acted as the Master of Ceremonies. For each question, I called out all the answers and had everyone guess which person had given each answer. Much hilarity ensued as we listened to the answers, guessed who said what, and shouted “I KNEW IT!” or “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? NO WAY!”, and as we pressed for more details and explanations. We threw in some points to wind up with a winner. But, nobody really paid much attention to that. The game was a great way to dig deeper with family members and find out more of their likes, dislikes, and personal experiences. Now, you can buy The Game Of Things, which is a similar game. But, at the time, I personalized our version by crafting all the questions myself. It was wildly successful game.
I put together another activity for a different visit with extended family. I had to work pretty hard on this one, but it was well worth the effort. Are you familiar with the walk-up song? No? OK, I’ll explain. When a major league baseball player steps up to home plate for his turn at bat, the stadium P.A. system blasts his walk-up song. That’s a song that the player has picked, a signature song that will hype up the fans and get him psyched to face the pitcher. An example would be our beloved Atlanta Braves retired player Chipper Jones with his walk-up song “Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osbourne. (Shout out to our Atlanta Braves! Go Bravos!) The walk-up song.
So, on this family visit, I challenged everyone to come up with their own walk-up song. Everyone secretly wrote down their song choice, gave it to me, and then went off about their business while I jumped online and searched for all the songs and queued them up to the most relevant part of the music. Armed with multiple tabs of paused music, I gathered the group. On turn, each person left the room, then, to much fanfare, entered the room with their walk-up music blasting and everyone cheering. Watching my 85 year-old mother waddle into the room to the sound of “Be Kind To Your Web-Footed Friends”, was one of the most hilarious things ever. We laughed and laughed again and again. We had so much fun listening and carrying on. As for me? My walk-up song was easy. “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves. Fits me to a tee.
The last activity I want to share with you involved one of my daughters and her friends. As their Girl Scout leader, I orchestrated many activities for them over the years. I am particularly proud of this one, because it gave them a chance to look inward and outward. But, before I talk about that, let me tell you about a tradition at our local high school. As High School Seniors get ready to graduate, there are many activities and festivities. One tradition is the Senior Letters. Anyone who knows a graduating Senior has an opportunity to write a letter to the student. The school collects letters and, at the end of the school year, presents each Senior with an envelope of letters full of advice, well-wishes, and congratulations from friends, family members, teachers, coaches, youth pastors, parents of their friends, and anyone else who wants to encourage and celebrate their achievement. The Senior Letter envelope is a very meaningful collection of letters that the soon-to-be graduate appreciates greatly.
As a Girl Scout activity, when my daughter and her friends were still in middle school, I challenged them to write a letter to their 18-year old self, talking about things that they were interested in and things that they hoped to accomplish. There were about 13 years old when they wrote their letters. The girls sealed their letters in small envelopes and then gave them to me. I stored the letters for 5 years, very carefully reminding myself where they were, so that I didn’t forget about them. Years later, when the girls were getting ready to graduate from high school, I took their letters to the high school so they would be included in the Senior Letter envelope. Among the many warm messages, each girl received a letter that she had written to herself! I cannot tell you how much I loved that! At one point, looking forward to how she thought she might be in the future, and at another point, looking back at how she used to be. How special is that?
Oh, I get all tingly inside when I think about these kinds of activities of self-reflection. I like to take stock of my likes and dislikes and evaluate things. And, I get all warm and fuzzy inside when I get to share those feelings with family and friends. Often times, we get so busy or expect so much out of the people around us that we forget to stop and find out what makes them tick. We forget to ask how they feel about things or what’s important to them. I know, because, I find myself surprised at some of their answers when I do ask. I always learn something new. Even with our closest chums, I think we need to spend some time Getting To Know You.