October is the spookiest of months. Here in the good ole U. S. of A., people go all out for Halloween with all the eerie accessories and trappings. I am constantly amazed at the number of skeletons, inflatable yard decorations, witches, ghouls, vampires, and other Halloween décor that I see every time I turn around. And spiders, always the spiders. Of course, spiders, REAL spiders, like to join in the decorating fun, too. Here in the state of Georgia, the cooler temperatures of fall usher in Orb Spiders (Araneidae) and Joro Spiders (Trichonephila Clavate) who adorn our porches with their intricate web creations. Those spiders are definitely here for the party.
My philosophy, unless the eight-leggers are infringing on my personal space, is to say Live and Let Live. But, as you might expect, I had a recent run-in with an arachnid who chose to infringe on my personal space. We were traveling, and I was in for a spooky surprise.
We were staying in a hotel, preparing for a fun evening activity. I was showering before getting dressed for a night on the town. My shower rhythm was poppin’ along as expected. Then, my Spidey Senses tingled just a little, and I turned away from the cascading water to face the opposite shower wall. That’s when I saw it.
OK, that’s not exactly what I saw. That's Aragog the giant sentient spider from the Forbidden Forest at Hogwarts, from Harry Potter Fandom website. No, I didn't see Aragog in my shower.
But, what I did see was a BIG spider flying through the air straight for me. About neck high, meaning, if he landed on me, it would be in the general area of my neck. FLYING THROUGH THE AIR, I said. Reaction times being what they are, I lunged out of the way so that he sailed past me. My frantic arm movements caused him to land squarely on the floor of the shower, out of harm’s way.
In that split second of action, my mind was trying to sort out what was happening. Spiderguy moved quickly, but also in the slow-motion heeeeere-heeee-comessssss way that victims often describe when disaster looms before their eyes. That was my perception as he steered his body towards me. It was almost as if Spiderguy was swinging on a thread, ala our Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman, swooping across the shower stall. But also, it was almost as if Spiderguy was sliding down a zipline that was aimed directly at me. I’m not sure, but I might have heard a tiny little “Wheee!” escape his tiny little fangs. It all happened so fast that I couldn’t be sure of anything except the fact that he was airborne and I was the target.
Once the dramatic moment ended, I looked at Spiderguy who was cowering on the shower floor, mission failed. He had a very small body, and BIG gigantic legs. I would estimate his wingspan to be about 5 inches across. I immediately tagged him as a Daddy Long-Legs Spider. He wasn't particularly scary looking, that is, unless he was aiming for you in a surprise attack. I started directing the stream of shower water towards him, thinking to wash him down the drain. But, he fought it off with evasive motions, squirming and stretching This Way and That Way. Spiderguy had spunk. So, I stopped my assault and eyed him precariously, daring him to move from his corner, as I finished off my shower.
We continued the stare-down as I toweled off. In normal times, I would gingerly collect a harmless Daddy Long-Legs Spider and take him outside to live free. But, in this case, I knew I would have had to leave my hotel room, walk down the hall to the elevator, descend 7 floors, cross the hotel lobby, and step outside to release the prisoner. And, I was currently in my birthday suit. Not exactly dressed for the task. Nobody would be prepared to see that. Not even me.
I didn't want Spiderguy lurking around, poised to spring out at me repeatedly. So, I grabbed a tissue, snatched the big fellow and flushed him down into the Giant Septic Tank in the Sky, where rumors swirl of critters who miraculously survive their flushing ordeal. Maybe Spiderguy will be one of the lucky ones. Rest his soul.
Later, when I had a spare moment, I researched spiders. Because inquiring minds want to know, and I can Bill Nye just as good as anyone. The Daddy Long-Legs Spiders (Opiliones), also called Harvestman, lack silk glands, and therefore cannot spin webs. They have only 2 eyes, and one body part, meaning they are not of the spider family. On the other hand, similar looking Cellar Spiders (Araneae) are true spiders with 2 body segments and 8 eyes. And, they spin webs, albeit messy, cobwebby, clumpy webs, instead of symmetrically designed masterpieces.
Idk how many eyes Spiderguy had, but I am assuming he was a Cellar Spider, because I believe there must have been some kind of web material involved in his Mission Impossible escapade. But, then again, I read nothing in research that would confirm the behavior that I saw. Projectile acrobatics on one lone thread of silk? Or free-style skydiving? Or one-legged grip sliding down an anchored thread? Or whatever activity he was doing midair in the shower stall? I kid you not, Spiderguy was, literally, flying at me. How do we explain that??
Perhaps we can chalk it up to the mystique and mystery of October. Perhaps a spell was cast. Perhaps superpowers were bestowed. Perhaps the energy of the unknown was unleashed. However things came to be, my encounter with Spiderguy was shocking, but was over and done within minutes.
Unless…………….
You don’t think Spiderguy Ghost or Spiderguy Zombie will come back to haunt me, do you? I told him I was sorry this was the way that things had to end. I apologized. I tried to be kind. Do you think he might be holding a grudge? Do you think he’d come for me? I’d better stay alert and fine tune my Spidey Senses. Got any good luck charms you can send me?