The new year has begun, a time to turn the page, with resolutions to make this year better than before. How are we feeling about the year that has just commenced? Maybe some uncertainty? A smidge of dread about what else could go wrong, knock on wood? A whole lot of hope? Always the optimist, I look forward to new opportunities and renewed challenges that we can meet with perseverance, fortitude, positive energy, and sound reason. And I strive to live by the Bible verse which implores each of us to “Love One Another.” I’m hoping for a very good year in 2021. In looking at challenges ahead, I started thinking about accomplishments in life, those I have made, and those I have yet to do. I think about them in terms of Now & Then. I’ve turned the phrase around: Now & Then, and I’ve discovered 3 angles to examine. I'd love to share them with you.
#1. NOW & THEN *the past
The way I act Now is determined by things I learned back Then. My past helps dictate my present. I learn from past mistakes and successes, which helps me conduct business Now. This can be illustrated by my day in court. I was sitting in court, prepared to confront the consequences of my traffic ticket. Word on the street said that appearing in court to stand before the judge, rather than paying by mail, would automatically reduce your traffic fine. So, there I was, ready to face the music. The important person who called me to his table, before I faced the judge (sorry, I can’t remember what his official role was), looked at my paperwork and then studied me. “So, you caused a wreck when you failed to stop at a Stop sign?” he asked.
I prepared to defend myself. “Well, kind of. You see..,” Then I described the moment when, driving my daughter to school in the dark early in the morning, I didn’t see a car coming, so I advanced into the street, T-boning the car. I left out the part where the intersection was extremely busy during the morning, and everyone knew that when you saw a brief opening, you scooted out as quickly as possible. He leafed back through some papers. “Hmmm, you had another traffic ticket 5 years ago. Looks like you have trouble stopping at Stop signs.”
I protested, “What? No! That was a completely different situation.” Then I attempted to tell him that I had been driving in an unfamiliar neighborhood, and when I stopped at an intersection, a policeman who was waiting on the side accused me of not stopping at the Stop sign, when I clearly did stop, and there was no traffic coming anywhere around, and he was measuring milli-seconds if he thought I didn’t come to a complete stop. The court official looked at me with I’ve-heard-it-all-before eyes, so, I stopped talking. “OK, we will recommend reducing the fine, and you’d better pay attention to those Stop signs from now on,” he said. I agreed, “Yes, sir, I will.”
Back Then, I paid hundreds of dollars because of my inattention behind the wheel. Now, I try to drive with care. What I learned Then affects the way I behave Now. When pulling out at busy intersections, I often look twice; am I sure nothing is coming? At Stop signs, I pause a breath longer than I used to. Complete Stop. When I ride with family members, they tire of hearing my back-seat driving critique, “That wasn’t a complete Stop. If a police officer saw that, he would ticket you for rolling through a Stop sign, I’m just saying.” Maybe they can’t learn from my mistakes, but I can.
#2. NOW & THEN
Some things occur Now & Then, as in, occasionally, here and there. I try to be mindful of things that should and shouldn’t be put into this category. Things that should happen Now & Then: making expensive purchases, partying, eating a bag of M&Ms (they mock me with the bag which claims to be ‘Sharing Size’, when everyone knows I will eat every last M by myself), Netflix binging, self-indulgent treats, worrying. Those are things that aren’t bad, per se, but can form bad habits if done extensively. They should be less frequent, Now & Then. Things that should NOT happen Now & Then: healthy eating, exercise, kindness, concern for others, helping the needy, standing up for causes, treating others with respect, taking responsibility. You get the picture.
I find myself mixing these up sometimes, so that instead of doing the ‘good’ things regularly, I only do them Now & Then. I convince myself that I do them consistently, but I sit on a Throne of Lies. And, likewise, I do the less important things with vigor and frequency, even though I fool myself into thinking that I only indulge Now & Then. I need to sort my priorities and get those behaviors lined up properly.
#3. NOW & THEN *the future
This is where there’s hope for the future. The things I do Now can influence the things I will do Then, later on. Besides learning from today’s mistakes, I can build for the future. If I want to have that kind of job Then, I need to study and prepare Now. If I want to buy a house, or a car, or a vacation Then, I need to save money Now. This helps me plan, prepare, and, maybe, sacrifice today for something better tomorrow. Long-term goals. Destinations. Meaning. Why am I doing what I'm doing? Where do I hope to be in the future?
As a parent and a teacher, the promise of Then underscores everything that I do. I want my kids to be self-sufficient, successful, happy, and live meaningful lives. I want my students to further their educations and become productive citizens. I lay the groundwork Now for what kids will accomplish Then. I’m not saying that I don’t screw up and make mistakes, but I realize that the whole of those 2 jobs, parent and teacher, revolves around preparing the next generation for the future, Then.
What tools can I use Now to help me find happiness and contribute to society Then? What tools can I use Now to help today’s kids prepare for success Then, in their future? How can I look forward to tomorrow using all of my resources of today? Can I (we) examine my (our) expectations and motivations at the start of 2021 to determine how I (we) really want to live?
Profound, huh? That's a whole lot of thinking crammed into one article. It’s heavy stuff. Maybe we should spend some time thinking about things like this Now & Then.