Well, I have been through the wringer. I have been chewed up and spit out the other side. I have been challenged and tested and pushed to the ground. I have been raked over the coals. I have been beat down.
Whew, I sure am tired.
It all started months ago when I started feeling a nagging pain in my leg. At first, I took a soft approach to diagnosing the problem, figuring the sprain or strain or simple injury would heal. As time went by and pain increased, I took a more aggressive approach to diagnosing the pain. Eventually, doctors and specialists and examinations and tests revealed the source of the problem.
Members of my family tend to have unusual things happen to them. I can’t tell you how many times one of my loved ones has heard experts say phrases like: Surprising, Unexpected, We don’t usually see this kind of thing, Unexplained, Can’t imagine why this is happening. It’s not always related to medical conditions; it often happens in all kinds of situations. We, my family, are conditioned to expect things to go somewhat wonky, because things rarely work smoothly for us. There is always some unexpected hitch when it comes to my people. We operate under Murphy’s Law.
Sorry, I need to pop out a minute and discuss Murphy’s Law. I misrepresent it, I think. According to multiple websites, Murphy’s Law came about in the 1940s at Edwards Air Force Base in Southern California. A team was working on dangerous rocket testing in project MX981, when one of the gauges malfunctioned. An irritated Captain Murphy laid blame where he thought it should be, saying. "If there’s any way they can do it wrong, they will." Other airmen coined the phrase Murphy’s Law as they described the likelihood that things often do go wrong or malfunction. But, they used Murphy’s Law as motivation to envision and prepare for every possible scenario that could happen. The expectation of what could go wrong helped them use engineering skills to plan and test for all kinds of unexpected problems. Murphy's Law didn’t have an entirely negative connotation. It helped them perfect their craft.
OK, Back to my family. Let’s look at something that happened to my daughter. Several years ago, she had the most bizarre medical condition. After spending a weekend camping with friends, she noticed a few unusual marks that looked like bites near her ankle. After a few days she sought medical attention because of the irritated and angry spread of the infection. Within a week, I got the call that no parent wants to get—she was in the emergency room having an allergic reaction to medications. Now, lots of things went down in that emergency room, including a huge tussle with the insurance company. But, once her allergic reaction was stabilized, the bigger concern became the state of her legs. The backs of her legs were blotchy red and black from her thighs to her ankles. It was shocking. Doctors, nurses, and techs streamed in and out, performing examinations and taking more vials of blood than Dracula could shake a stick at. I don’t know how there was any blood left in her body. Fun fact, we also had to suddenly change hospitals via ambulance, thanks to the heavy-handed decisions of the insurance company.
When it was all said and done, she spent 5 days in the hospital. The first couple of days were tense and worrisome as internists, infectious disease doctors, dermatologists, and other experts with concerned expressions spent time examining her legs and running her bloodwork. As they ruled out flesh-eating bacteria and staph infections and lyme disease and other blood diseases and scary conditions, it became clear that she was stable, the ugly rash was no longer spreading, and its color was improving. The mood changed, and they kept her for several more days in observation, curious to figure out what in the world was happening to her. Because she was at a teaching hospital, scores of doctors, interns, and students filed through her room, examining her, looking through reference books, and taking pictures which they sent to colleagues all over the country. They were stumped. Finally, they reluctantly agreed to release her from the hospital, insisting that she continue to follow up until the rash cleared up completely. It took months.
The final diagnosis? A doctor told us that he had discovered an obscure incident in a medical journal, and his best guess was this: My daughter had been camping in the woods in North Carolina for a few days. When she and her friends broke camp, they had to carry their gear through a river that had swollen overnight from rainfall. They plowed through in thigh-deep water. At that time of year (Spring), there was a particular bird which roosted in the mountains of North Carolina. When the birds sat in trees or flew over the river, there was a high likelihood that bird poop would land in the river. There was also a particular snail which lived on the bottom of the river. Studies showed that If that snail ingested that specific kind of bird poop, it would release a toxic chemical into the water. The toxin was what had attacked our daughter’s skin. Not the skin of any of her friends who were walking beside her. Just her skin. That’s what the doctor was able to determine through his research.
Can you believe that? That’s what I’m saying. Stuff like that ALWAYS happens to my family.
So, I wasn’t surprised last month when my orthopedic doctor used phrases like Uncommon, This is pretty rare, We don’t know why this has happened. My hip was deteriorating, Avascular Necrosis, already a stage 4 level of demise. While I had none of the typical risk factors that would lead to this condition, the only solution now was to have total hip replacement surgery.
I be hobblin' on by like Amos McCoy:
"Outta my way Sonny, I’m comin through! Move on over! I gotta get this bum hip replaced!!"
So how’s your summer going? Mine’s been a real drag. The outpatient hip surgery was derailed when I lost too much blood, That's unusual, We don't usually see this, We weren’t expecting that to happen! Then came the anemia, low blood pressure, low hemoglobin, fainting, blood transfusion, iron infusions, and all that fun stuff. Three nights in the hospital, sent home with a suitcase full of medicines and appointments with Physical Therapy. Now, I’m laid up on the couch popping pills, icing my leg, and fighting side effects.
You’d think that all of this would give me a negative attitude. But, you’d be wrong. I am a highly optimistic person. When the hits come, I just keep taking them. Just like Murphy's Law, what sounds like a doomsday attitude is actually just a realization that I might need to be prepared for anything that could happen. I have full confidence in the recovery of my hip. I know that it might take time and it might be hard, but I don’t dread what’s coming or feel despair. The good Lord gave me the brains and the strength and the stamina and the where-with-all to tackle whatever happens. And, sometimes, things really do go as planned. Sometimes there are no hiccups. Sometimes things are predictable, even uninteresting. Sometimes we CAN count on normal.
But, in my family, when we don’t get normal, when we shake our heads and ask Why is this happening to me?, we persevere, we do our best, we usually learn a thing or two, and we always, always wind up with a good story to tell. Believe me, we have stories out the wazoo.