I recently had a bad dream. A nightmare, if you will. It was so bad that I woke up in a cold sweat, panicked, and unable to get back to sleep. So, I got up and busied myself on my laptop so I could calm down. What shook me to my core? What was the terrifying subject of this nightmare?
Losing my stuff.
In the dream, I was with my family (husband and 4 grown kids) on a subway train. We were possibly in another country, definitely in an unfamiliar place. We were excited to start this planned adventure in this interesting location. When the subway train stopped, we hastened to get off the train. As we stepped out onto the platform, my husband Rob called out, “Everybody make sure you’ve got everything.” With a groan, all our kids, responded, “Yes, yes, we’ve got everything.” I glanced down at my hands, and then called out, “Wait, I don’t have everything!” I realized that I wasn’t holding my brown leather purse. I turned around to hop back through the open subway door to get it, but before I could, the door closed and the train sped away from the platform.
In the foggy dream, I was then separated from my family as I was ushered through multiple doors into an office, where a group of people stood around counters filling out forms. I was handed several forms which weren’t applicable to my situation. Finally, I located an employee who patiently explained the process of recovering my bag. It all sounded doable, and I was relieved to know there was a system that should work for my situation. Then, the clerk said, “As long as you didn’t lose your ID." “Ok……wait……I DID lose my ID—it was in my purse!” Then the clerk added, “Hopefully you didn’t lose any credit cards.” “Oh NO……..I DID lose credit cards—they were in my purse!” Then the clerk said, “You should probably start calling people about that.” I reached for my phone, and with a sense of dread, realized that my phone was, you guessed it, in my purse.
With great concern, I asked the clerk how long it would take to recover my possessions, and she looked over at another clerk, and they both laughed. “It shouldn’t take long, right? Since I’m reporting it right away.” The clerks laughed harder, with a sympathetic, you-poor-thing laugh. I looked at the subway map on the wall detailing the length and complexity of the subway routes, and realized that my purse was going far, far away. My heart sank. Completely dejected, I asked, “Can I borrow someone’s phone so I can call my family and tell them what’s happening?” To add the last insult to injury, I realized that, I didn't know any phone numbers. When setting up the contact lists in my phone, my dream self had never bothered to learn them. I had no idea how to call anyone.
That's when I woke up.
Maybe you thought my nightmare was about bad guys, or falling off of a cliff, or standing naked in front of a bunch of people. I’ve had some of those dreams along the way. But, this dream actually terrified me because it was completely possible. That could really happen. It felt like it really was happening. And I didn’t know what in the world I would do.
When I woke up, I reassessed the dream and tried to sear into my brain the conviction that I would ALWAYS double-check before I got off any form of public transportation anywhere in the world. I started to strategize what I could do with my possessions to keep me from losing EVERYTHING at once. I put a lot of energy into solving the problem of my subway purse nightmare, hoping to prevent the real-life scenario. I also vowed to have a sit-down with my kids to warn them of the consequences of lax or inattentive behavior.
Over the top? I think not.
We all lose things. Sometimes it’s an irritating nuisance , other times it’s a monumental disaster. I think that paying attention to the here and now helps me. I sometimes say out loud, “I’m putting the keys on the counter,” to add another layer of awareness when I appear to be operating on auto-pilot. I try to spot-check myself to make sure I have the things I need before I head out. I try to have a place for everything, and everything in its place, so I don’t spend hours looking for the thing I needed an hour ago. It’s a constant battle, and it’s a boring battle. It’s no fun to pay attention to the minutia of detail that gets me through every day. But, it’s a necessary battle, if I want to make progress instead of spinning my wheels, retracing my steps, and trying to remember where I last had my stuff.
In the 1970s, when I was in the high school band, our group went to New Orleans to participate in a Mardi Gras parade. We rode charter buses to Louisiana, set up in our motel, marched in the parade which was called Krewe of Bacchus, or something like that, and then had a day or two to explore the French Quarter and other parts of New Orleans. Thinking now, as a parent, I can’t believe that a hundred-some teenagers were allowed to run around the French Quarter during Mardi Gras with very little supervision. But, we were. The parent chaperones did their own thing, and we did ours. I remember hearing a rumor that the chaperones were sitting in the courtyard of Pat O’Briens Restaurant drinking Hurricanes (alcoholic punch.) My dad was a chaperone on the trip, and I was shocked, to say the least, to hear that he might be involved. But, I later realized that one could frequent a famous establishment without imbibing in the signature drink. That would be my dad.
There are a large number of parades during Mardi Gras festivities. My friends and I stood in the crowds on Bourbon street watching a parade and doing what everyone does—catching bead necklaces that are thrown from the floats. Everyone wore stacks of necklaces as we jumped and reached and snagged the colorful trinkets from the air. It was exhilarating and fun. Until I reached for my purse which was hanging by my side. My purse was unzipped and the contents were gone. I couldn’t believe it. I had been violated. The thieves didn’t profit much; I had little money in my wallet, and nothing else of value. Because my dad was on the trip, I knew that everything would be ok. I could carry on and deal with it when I got back home. Turns out, the worst of it was that I had to apply for a replacement driver’s license.
What if that happened to me today? The consequences would be much bigger. Credit cards, insurance cards, debit cards, IDs, vaccination cards…..I shudder to think of all that I would lose. The information on my cellphone, should someone be able to get through my passcodes. It’s terrifying to think of. How would I function? What would I do if the things at my fingertips were no longer at my fingertips?
That's why the dream shook me to my core; when I realized how alone and unprepared I could be if I lost my purse on a subway train. You’d better believe that I will make sure that does not happen to me. And, I will move a few things around, memorize some phone numbers, and do some things to ensure I don’t lose everything, juuuuuuuust in case it does happen.
It is of upmost importance that I Keep Up With My Stuff. If I lose my stuff, I could
- Become paralyzed and unable to conduct my normal daily life, and
- Give someone else access to my personal information.
And, we can’t have that, now, can we? Listen up, kids. Pay attention. Keep your wits about you. You have to always Keep Up With Your Stuff.