The Shared Experience. I am a big fan. What I mean by The Shared Experience is an event in which groups of people congregate to experience something together. It might be a game, a concert, a lecture, a church service, an unveiling, a wedding, a graduation ceremony, or any activity where people with shared interest gather.
Now, I’m not always a crowd lover. Sometimes I don’t want people walking around breathing on me. I felt that way before I even heard of Covid-19. Sometimes I don't want to be swarmed by masses of people. I don’t want to deal with difficult parking arrangements or complicated mass transit. Fighting my way thru a crowd, waiting in line for concessions or restroom. Sometimes I would rather skip all of that, so I do. But, I'm not an isolationist. When I’m ready to take on a group adventure, I’m all in. And there’s something to be said for experiencing events with groups of people.
Example #1
In 2021, our beloved Atlanta Braves baseball team was playing in THE WORLD SERIES. Being rabid fans, we took out a 2nd mortgage on our home to buy tickets for Game 5 in Atlanta. Just kidding, we cashed in stocks. Just kidding, again. Tickets were expensive, but we reasoned, how many chances will we have to watch THE WORLD SERIES in person? There were 7 games to play, and our team, the Braves, was leading the series 3-1. First team to win 4 games would be the champions. So, we bought tickets for the game and eagerly joined the throngs of fans (43,122 to be exact) who crowded the stadium to cheer for our team, hoping this would be the night that we won the championship.
The excitement was palpable. In the first inning, our Braves began hitting and loaded the bases—3 runners ready to score. Then Adam Duvall stepped up to the plate and hit a GRAND SLAM HOMERUN. I have never heard anything like it. The place went crazy bonkers. Insane. The hair on my neck stood up from all the energy in the stadium. We were high-fiving, hugging, hand-clasping with everyone within arm’s reach. The air was completely electric, and the sound was deafening. In a great way. It was the most exciting sports moment ever. Unfortunately, that was the only highlight of the game that night. Our Braves lost. The good news was that 2 days later, the Braves won the next game, thus winning the WORLD SERIES. They were the Champions! We watched on TV that night, and were thrilled with the results. Go Braves!!
But, there was really nothing like being in the stadium a few nights before that. Sharing the experience with all the other fans, celebrating the success of our team. Man, that was something special.
Example #2
A few years ago, we went to an Eric Clapton concert. The opening act was Jimmie Vaughan, who is Stevie Ray Vaughan’s brother. I’m a big Stevie Ray fan and I had recently seen a documentary about him. I learned that his big brother Jimmie, while a teenager, started doing band gigs around Austin, Texas. As Jimmie’s career was starting to gain traction, his little brother Stevie Ray started playing guitar and quickly eclipsed Jimmie’s success. Apparently, there was some resentment as SRV skyrocketed to the forefront of the music scene. SRV died tragically in a helicopter accident years later. As opening act of the Eric Clapton concert, we looked forward to hearing Jimmie Vaughan play and seeing what he was all about.
At the concert, we immediately noticed that Jimmie's voice sounded exactly like his little brother’s. He played well, but no one in the audience seemed to recognize any of his songs. It was good, but it didn't stir up any excitement in the crowd. We started conversing with the people sitting around us. It was common consensus that if he would break out one, just one, SRV song, the place would go nuts. You know, as a tribute to his brother. We were all waiting, and waiting. But, no. So we politely clapped for him and left it at that. Thereafter, the nearby patrons all reacted together as we listened to Clapton play. We even scratched our heads after the big finale as we all asked each other, “what song was THAT?” It wasn't much of a closing. We had been to another Clapton concert years before that was much better and much more satisfying. Anyway, the point was that we shared all that emotion with the people around us. We all reacted together, looking for input from one another.
There is something interesting about being part of The Shared Experience. Perhaps there are people who don’t look like you, talk like you, or even think like you. But, you have something in common. The Here and Now. The shared love (or maybe the casual like) of this particular thing that is happening in front of you. Once or twice I have been "dragged" to events that I wasn’t interested in. Not my favorite team or sport, a concert I didn't really care about, a comedian that wasn't to my taste, or something similar. But, I've always had a good time because of the "we are all in this together" mentality. Smiling, clapping along with others. Cheering, recoiling in surprise. Casting side-eyes, shaking heads. Patting each other on the back. Tossing comments over my shoulder to the people behind me. Making eye contact when significant things occur. All the reactions that we have, we share as a group. Looking for validation from the other patrons. I feel comfortable if we are all laughing out loud together. If we all gasp together. I feel a sense of togetherness when our reactions are genuine and spontaneous.
It's a nice feeling. A feeling that we are all human. That we share the same emotions. That, despite our differences, there are things that can bring us together. We can celebrate with one another, comfort one another, relive the event and rekindle the emotions. Just think of a time when you had that feeling. If you ask, “Were you there when…...?”, and someone enthusiastically responds, “Yes! I was there!!!” Then you have an immediate connection. You can tell other people what happened, but only those people who were there can relate to the emotions, the full experience.
I have, like so many others, had my share of Zoom meetings and online forums. Those are very useful tools at times. The most ridiculous Zoom meeting was when my class of preschoolers attempted to meet online to touch base during the early weeks of the pandemic in 2020. Four year olds are not trained in proper online etiquette. By the time they all talked over each other, ran away from the screen, held all of their favorite toys in front of the camera, and caused utter chaos, I decided that it was time to end the meeting. I opted, instead, to record videos of myself teaching and singing songs. Little kiddos love to watch the same things over and over. But even so, for them, the computer screen did not replace the live in-person experience of being in school
It doesn’t for me either. There are some things that you have to experience in the flesh. Live action. It has the potential to elevate the whole experience. Face-to-face. Feeling the energy of the people around you. While I will reserve the right to stay away from crowds at times, I will never give up on The Shared Experience. It buoys my spirit and gives me a sense of harmony, inclusiveness, and comfort.
It's like The Little Mermaid, Ariel:
I wanna be where the people are I wanna see, wanna see them dancin' Walking around on those - what do you call 'em? Oh - feet! ...... Up where they walk, up where they run Up where they stay all day in the sun Wanderin' free - wish I could be part of that world.
Or, if that's not your cup of tea, it's like The Beatles:
….All together now All together now All together now All together now...
Love your descriptions of shared experiences. I think Dacher Keltner uses the term collective effervescence in his book about awe to describe the amazing tide of emotion we feel when part of a group.
And you are so right on about Zoom meetings versus in-person. They serve a purpose but there's nothing like the real thing! Lovely post, Gwen.
I love that - collective effervescence. Thanks, Wynne!