The Resignation

I want to tell you a cautionary tale. But, cautionary tales usually provide a warning and have a definitive moral or ethical lesson. Or, they highlight what went wrong, and what should have been done differently. In short, one can usually learn something from a cautionary tale. With this story, I’m sorry to say, that 40 years later, I have not figured out what was to be learned. I don’t think of it often, but when something jogs my memory and I think back to the experience, I still don’t know what to make of it. Maybe you can help me decide. It’s the tale of The Resignation.

I graduated from college in 1981. Shortly thereafter I went to graduate school where I obtained (through very hard and dedicated work) my Master's Degree in Computer Science. I’ll stop here while you break into fits of laughter, as my kids always do. It is more than clear to them that I am the weakest link when it comes to computers, technology, and smart-anythings. But, in my defense, back in the 1980s the computer industry was nothing like it is today. I worked on computer monitors that were tethered to giant mainframe computers. Those monstrous computers, with their calculating advances and reel-to-reel magnetic tape data storage, stood in rows and rows in a freezing cold computer room. The internet did not exist. There was little regard for friendly user interface screens. Everything computer-related was cryptic and functional. I knew the secret programming languages and knew the logic that drove the computer. Everything in our industry was very mechanical, and once you understood the mechanics, it wasn’t hard to do the work. That life is far behind me now, having left the industry in the 1990s. But, back in the day, I was well-versed in the growing field of computer programming.

After completing my Masters, I worked for a very large technology company for a few years. Shortly after Rob & I got married, Rob was transferred to another city, and I landed a job with a very large textile manufacturing company. A company with more than 50 manufacturing locations around the world. I began working in their corporate office, along with about 1000 other employees. There were things that I liked at this new company, and things that I didn’t like. Pros: I enjoyed the people and felt challenged by the work. Cons: This company did a very extensive new-hire program which took new employees through weeks and weeks of training.  All the people in my new hire training class were fresh out of college. I, having also finished grad school and worked several years in the industry, felt like I should have been a little ahead of all these new grads. But, that wasn’t the way this company operated, so I was stuck with the situation. My advancement in the company tracked exactly the same as the other new hires. I resented it a bit. I also had to commute to a different city for this job, which often made things inconvenient.

After a few years’ time, I decided to keep my ears open and see if there was any other job opportunity out there for me.

Keep in mind, this was the 1980s. I'll say again: There was no internet. Almost no one had a computer at home. Job postings were listed in the newspaper. Headhunters recruited prospective employees. Everything was done by phone or in person. At some point I connected with a headhunter who told me about a computer position at a very large tire manufacturing company. She set up an interview, and I met with the representatives and learned about the job. Afterwards, she told me that they had positive feedback about my interview, but that I shouldn’t be discouraged if I didn’t hear back from them. This particular company had extensive procedures, and could take upwards of 4 or 5 months to get through all the interviews, complete the red-tape, and actually make the hire. So, I put it in the back of my mind and focused my attention on the here and now. .

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the morning after my secret job interview, I was offered a very interesting opportunity at work. First, let me back up. The corporate office computer support division at this textile company was relatively large. There were (just guessing) 50 or 100 employees who worked in cubicles in a very large room. There were (if I remember correctly) 3 managers who oversaw subsets of the employees. Give or take a few. I was in the smallest subset department, I can’t even remember what it was called. The manager of our department, I’ll call him Marv, was a timid quiet man. He was very good at the technical stuff, but he was lacking in people skills. The other managers were more confident and animated. When things needed to be done, they always took the center stage. Marv was more in the shadows. A behind-the-scenes guy. Marv was never in the spotlight.

The morning after my clandestine job interview, our department was all a-buzz. Seems that Marv had been selected for a special assignment. There was an upcoming technology conference in Dallas, and the owner of the company (the BIG boss) wanted a handful of people to go with him to explore these new ideas about personal computers and barcode scanning and floppy disks and other emerging technologies. He selected 4 or 5 managers from departments like logistics, finance, transportation, and plant operations. And, from the computer support division, he selected Marv.  We were all like, “Marv?? Are you kidding me? Marv NEVER gets selected for anything!” But, we were happy for him and congratulated him on the exciting news. That he would travel with the company owner to represent the computer support division.

Later in the day, Marv asked to speak with me. He had a special sort of energy. I could tell that he was SO excited. He said that each manager was allowed to select one employee go on this trip to gather information and report back to their division. He wanted to know if I would consider going. He went on to describe that this trip would be 3 weeks from now, there would be 10 of us flying to Dallas for 4 days, we would attend meetings, gather information, and discuss some of our current projects, etc. I was caught completely off guard, and told him I would need to think about it, as I had some other commitments. He said that was fine, I could let him know in the morning.

That’s when I began to struggle. I knew that this opportunity was a BIG DEAL. My co-workers spoke jealously about me being selected. But, hadn’t I secretly betrayed the company by interviewing for another job? If I agreed to go, weren’t they expecting this to be an investment in a loyal employee who would give them their money's worth down the road? I wrestled mightily with the decision for the rest of the day. Eventually, I reasoned that it made no sense to turn down this opportunity on the off chance that I MIGHT get offered another job several months down the road. After all, I might NOT get an offer. And, this opportunity might open some doors within my current company, doors that had heretofore been closed, or near closed. So, I discussed the arrangements at home, and next morning at work, I told Marv that I was in. He was still riding high about the trip. He enthusiastically told me about the schedule of meetings that would prep all of us for what was to come. He said that he would immediately get word to the owner of the company to add my name to the group. I felt like I had made the right decision.

That night, at home, I was shocked when I got a call from the tire manufacturing company offering me a great job. They said that I could start ASAP, or wait a month before starting. It was better money, a less rigid environment, more future mobility, and a shorter commute. I almost threw up. I don’t think I slept all night, fretting about what I should do. I really wanted the job, but how I would talk to Marv? I knew that Marv would be crushed and embarrassed that in his shining moment I had kicked his legs out from under him. See, no one, save my work colleagues, would have even noticed if I had resigned 2 days earlier. But, now, my name had been plastered on signs (figuratively) along with Marv’s. The owner of the company was hearing about me, Marv’s recommendation as an up-and-coming talent. For me to resign abruptly—it would look bad. Marv would be devastated, not so much that I was leaving, but that his reputation would be tarnished.

Yes, he was devastated. I can’t even describe the look on his face the next morning when I told him that I was resigning. There was nothing I could say that made it right, or made it sound logical, or padded the blow. I think he was in a state of shock all morning as he back-pedaled and sent the ‘never-mind’ memos and made the phone calls. I humbly finished out my final few days at the job, trying to avoid questions, and trying to be as invisible as possible. And then I moved on to my new job, where I worked happily for several years.

So, what should I have done? What would you have done? Should I have passed on a tangible opportunity because of the possibility of something else that might or might not happen? In my case, as soon as I knew that I wanted to take another job, I spoke up, because I thought it would have been much worse to wait a few weeks, go on the trip, and then resign. But, what if something was going to happen on the trip that would make me reconsider? What if I needed to have that experience before I could make an informed decision about staying or leaving? Maybe see where things would go? I think it was a case of incredibly bad timing. What should I have done?

Being of the zodiac sign Libra, I struggle with decisions. Using the scale, I weigh THIS option and THAT option, trying to balance them out. I seek peace and harmony. This particular dilemma forced one of the hardest decisions that I ever made. And, I felt so terribly bad for causing a stink and making things so awkward for Marv. I’m sure he got over it, and all, but I hated to be the one that threw a curve ball and made things complicated.

So, there’s your cautionary tale. For what it’s worth. Take from it what you will. Learn what you can. And always try to make good decisions, folks.