Seasonal Happiness

Ok guys, you’re supposed to be happy. It’s the holidays, right? Joy and happiness?  But things don’t always play out like that. This time of the year, the last few months, can be hard. Our schedules and our minds are packed full of details. Time is short and responsibilities are big. There is a lot to do. Much of the hubbub we pile onto ourselves. We don’t say No. We try to include every experience, live up to every expectation, do the things that we think that we should to provide the best holiday that we can for our family and friends. We ask a lot of ourselves.

I challenge you right now to stop and take a breath. Calm your mind. Accept the here and now. Know that some things might not get done, and that’s ok. Everyone’s happiness does not depend on you and you alone. There is no reason that you have to do things the way that they have always been done. Give yourself permission to find a new way to celebrate the holidays. You might be surprised at the results when you mix things up a bit. We are creatures of habit, and that can be a good thing. But, if it causes undo stress, then I say it’s time to try something new. At the very least, it will give everyone something to talk about during next year’s holiday. At best, you might stumble upon a new tradition. Lighten the load a little and find room for a little bit of peace.

I guess those comments are directed at people who find themselves stressed over all the happenings of the month. People who struggle to keep their heads above water as they try to cross the T’s and dot the I’s to get everything ready for the holidays. People who have too much to do and not enough time. People who feel overwhelmed.

But those are not the only people who struggle in December. There are a lot of people who find the holidays to be a very difficult time. People who have experienced a terrible loss, people who are lonely, people who struggle with finances or living conditions or other essential needs. People who have little hope for the future. People who see the happiness and merriment around them and feel more downtrodden than ever.

Life can be hard. It doesn’t always go the way you had hoped, or the way you had planned.

It is especially hard when you are going through something challenging, but everything you see each day tells you that you should be feeling something different. December is full of in-your-face gaiety, happiness, joy, comfort, excitement, anticipation…. If you feel down in the dumps, it can be hard to go to the grocery store or stop at the discount store or drive down Main Street in your town. It can be hard to understand how everyone else is going about their business with excitement and joy while you are low.  Mistletoe and Holly alone can’t bring you out of the depths of depression, and sometimes it just accentuates the difficult situation.

If you find yourself challenged by your current circumstances, I want to extend love and encouragement. There are people out here who care about you. We might not even know you, but we care. You can find a way to get through this difficult time. Reach out for help and accept it. People can be there for you. You don’t have to face things all alone. Your feelings matter. You matter.

I would like to make a suggestion. If you are not enjoying this holiday season, whether from stress or despair or any other reason, I suggest you do a simple act of kindness. Hold the door for someone, give a kind word to the checkout clerk, pick up an object someone dropped. It’s not hard. Exercise an attitude of Fake-It-Till-You-Make-It so you can put a smile on your face. 

Let it be known that I don’t always follow my own advice. I’m not always paying attention to the situation at hand. I am rushed and distracted as much as anyone. Therefore, I recommend you do as I say, not as I do.

The point, however, is this—by extending kindness to someone else, you have an opportunity to inject some sunshine into their day, and to make yourself feel useful. You can have an impact on someone else. If we all did small gestures of kindness throughout the day, it would go a long way to lift other people up, and (spoiler alert) it would lift each of us up, too. It's no secret that your mood absolutely benefits from being kind to others, going the extra mile, stepping out to give a helping hand or a kind word. All the feels. Granted, it won't solve the problems that you are dealing with, but it might help you to feel better about that day and that particular interaction.

In my preschool class I always ask the kids, amid all of the what-I-want-for-Christmas hype, to think of someone else and what they wish they could do for them. To take the focus off of their own wants and think about someone else for a minute. To embrace the Spirit of Giving.

This year, in my class, I am also giving the kids an opportunity to send a kind word to others. The kids will make beautifully decorated cards (hey, beautiful is relative--they are 4 years old). We will send the cards to the Memory Care facility where my mother-in-law spent her last few years. It’s a great pick-me-up for someone to receive a card with well wishes, even from a stranger.  And Memory Care residents, well, it’s no exaggeration to say that they might display that card for the rest of their lives.

Here is the message we included in our greeting cards:

“Even though we haven’t met, I wanted to give you a special hello and let you know we are thinking about you. I hope you have a great day!"

Just a nice thought. Trying to brighten someone's day.

I hope you have a special December, whatever you find yourself doing. And, one more message for those of you who might be overworked (and maybe underappreciated) this holiday season: Relax. Put your feet up. Take a moment. If you have a chance to chill and look around, you might see things a little differently. If you look at the right angle, or look through the right lenses, you might be delighted by unexpected surprises. See?

The lights on our tree look like this..........

Until we put on the special glasses........

And, then we see THIS...............

Now that's what I call fun!

Alrighty, let's wrap this up. I've got stuff to do.

This December, concentrate on your messaging, both what you say and how you do things. Be it the Celebration of the Birth or Jesus, or Peace and Goodwill towards Mankind, you can spread the love best if you don’t wear yourself thin. Things don’t have to be perfect. Sometimes good enough is good enough. And remember, most people really won’t mind if you leave one or two things unfini