I Can’t Eat That

You can thank Midwest Mark at Mark My Words blog for inspiring today’s post. Recently Mark blogged about how he disliked watermelon. What?? How is that possible?  As I see it, there are some detractors out there, but, I think it’s fair to say that most people tend to enjoy watermelon, especially in the summer. Many moons ago, I wrote nostalgically about watermelon, click here. Anyway, in his recent post, Mark asked his readers which widely popular foods they did not like.

That question got me thinking, and I decided that you needed to hear my thoughts. Or, read them. I share these thoughts to give you insight into the weird things that people (like me) sometimes think and feel. When it comes to food, if you have a squeamish child or a finicky friend or a difficult loved one, it might help to know what they might be going through. Maybe you can give them some space and grace as they deal with their food aversions. Some of us can’t help it. We can’t help it at all.

First off, I have strong negative reactions to foods for a few different reasons. Of course, Taste. Blue cheese --Ugh. Also, Texture. Cottage cheese --Ugh. Don't forget about Smell. Yellow squash fried with onions like my grandmother made --Double Ugh. There is also the food’s effect on my digestive system to consider --I see you, coffee and bacon. With some foods, my overactive imagination can simply gross me out. Like when my mom tried to get me to drink raw eggs, as you can read, click here--it was a thing in the 70s. I have a rather strong gag reflex, and it doesn’t take much to trigger it. Especially when I overthink or overanalyze what is sitting on the plate in front of me. Softshell crab? You want me to eat the whole what? Shell and all??

One popular food that grosses me out is chicken wings. Every bar food restaurant in America serves wings. They are a go-to staple. People clammer for wings, different rubs, different sauces, different dips. Rob has a killer recipe for grilled wings at home. Wings, wings, wings.

But, no. Not for me, thank you. Hard No. I’ll eat the celery sticks and lick the sauce. 

I cannot stomach the idea of holding a piece of chicken up to my mouth, taking a bite, pulling the chicken slightly away from my mouth, and looking at what I just bit into.  I’ll see bones, tendons, muscles, and various red stringy things hanging at different angles. All marked with jagged bite marks. And, I’ll know that some of that stuff went into my mouth.  I just can’t.

I be like:

If you serve me chicken wings, I will politely decline. If you serve me larger cuts, chicken legs or chicken thighs, I will request a knife and fork so that I can cut the meat from the bone onto my plate, and then decide which bites deserve to ride the fork to my mouth. And, which undesirable parts and pieces need to stay on that thar plate. Don’t put that stuff in my mouth.

I know, I can be weird about food. But, just get over it is not an option.

Other boned meats--steak, porkchops, ham, chicken breast—don’t usually cause any problems, because the ratio of edible meat vs creepy skeletal innards is much better. I can cut the meat off the bone, and I don’t see anything alarming up in there. I’ve even, on occasion, gnawed on a baby back rib without blinking an eye.

That’s just the way it is.

When someone asks if I have dietary restrictions, I normally rattle off allergy concerns, without mentioning foods that I avoid or cannot stomach. I don’t think to list innocent food no-no’s, because, why would I? Who cares if I don't like calamari? I’m not going to order it, so it's irrelevant. I’ve never gotten into trouble keeping my food aversions to myself, until this summer.

My daughter and I stayed at a fabulous wellness resort in Costa Rica, which you can read about, click here. Our spa package included a delicious food plan, but one night we decided to book an extra special evening at the upscale restaurant on site.  While 95% of the patrons in the restaurant ordered off the standard menu, we upped our game and booked a distinctive 8-course dining experience hosted by Chef Pablo. The premium dining option, chef's specialty, extra care and attention. We didn't know what to expect or what foods would be served. As described in our personalized dinner guide:

"Mystique Rooftop at The Retreat Costa Rica is a celebration of the country’s landscapes, flavors, and ancestral foodways…..Chef Pablo has spent years working hand in hand with Indigenous communities to preserve traditions, ingredients, and stories that might otherwise be lost…..Pablo’s vision for Mystique is to transform these roots into an elevated dining journey, where the land and sea are woven into each plate with equal parts history and innovation."

A big mission, indeed. Our meal was a grand multi-course, multi-hour extravaganza of small plates with big flavor. As the server presented each course with flair and ceremony, he told us stories about the carefully selected ingredients, their history, and how the dish fit into the culture of Costa Rica. The food was cooked with love and presented with pride. It was a joyous and flavorful experience.

Except for the oyster course.

Raw oysters can be rather polarizing. Not everyone is a fan. My daughter and I both fall squarely into the Nuh-uh camp.

We both cringed at the oysters sitting in half-shells on our plates. We just couldn’t. My daughter had recently had two separate very bad experiences eating oysters, and she knew better than to tempt fate. She had sworn off oysters forever. And me, my I-can’t-handle-the-texture-and-just-the-thought-of-it reflexes almost made me gag on sight. I knew that if I tried to make it go down, it would be coming right back up. With chef’s choice, we didn’t realize that we should have taken preemptive measures and mentioned our wariness at the start of the meal. I mean, who knew he would be serving us raw oysters? If he found that we wouldn't eat them, perhaps he would have pivoted. Lesson learned.

At the table, staring at the briny bivalves, my daughter and I kept asking each other, “Could you? Would you?”, and we both kept answering, “There is NO WAY.” Unfortunately, there were no potted plants nearby where we could slip the slimy morsels and cover them with dirt. There were no paper napkins for us to wrap around the invertebrates and stuff into our bags. In other words, there was no hiding the soft squishy mollusks, pretending that we ate them. So, we left them sitting on our plates, untouched, rejected.

We both felt very bad and slightly embarrassed when the server came to clear the oyster course. We knew that Chef Pablo had carefully prepared our plates to tell the story of his homeland. He had put it all out there. Our response was to throw the food away. Sorry, Chef Pablo. I really hope that he didn't find out what happened to that artfully presented course, how we chucked it in the trash. What a waste.

The rest of our 8-course culinary journey was deliciously marvelous. No other hiccups. We raved about all the incredible foods, especially when Pablo came out to our table to check in with us. Kudos, Chef! Exquisito!!

Questions:

-If someone asks if you have any food restrictions, do you list foods that you don’t care for, or only foods that give you allergic reactions or complications?

-What would you do if someone (friend, colleague, acquaintance) spent time and money preparing food, but you could not bring yourself to eat it? Would you force yourself to try it anyway, just to be polite?

-Are there any foods that everyone else seems to like, but you really don’t?