Recently, I remembered an event that occurred when I was in high school. It was a small event, one which a total of 2 or 3 people would even remember. Maybe not that many people. Maybe just me. But, I was surprised when this moment crept into my brain, because I had not thought about it for decades. I realized that the moment was interesting enough to talk about and dissect a little. You see, sometimes we decide to make changes and challenge ourselves in new ways. But, sometimes change and challenge are thrust upon us, whether we like it or not.
I was a member of my high school band. I played the flute. I was a so-so musician. I had decent technique, good hand-eye coordination, and a good music IQ. My biggest problem was tone. Try as I might, I could never produce a clear, rich, wafting sound. My flute sounded raspy and throaty. It was a big handicap.
One summer, my friend and I had the great fortune to attend a 2-week Band and Orchestra camp at a nearby college campus. We were very excited to move to campus, meet other teenagers from different high schools, and participate in the elevated music experience. Upon arriving, all of us campers were required to audition to determine what level of music we were best suited for. There were three concert bands—beginner (White), intermediate (Red), and advanced (Blue). I'm not 100% sure about the colors, but we will go with that for the sake of band identification. My friend and I, as well as several others we had met, were placed in the intermediate (Red) band. As camp geared up, we fell into the routine of practice times, free time, meals, and other activities. Many of us became friends, enjoying our daily activities.
In band and orchestra, the directors rank musicians according to skill. For each instrument, 1st chair is the most accomplished player, followed by 2nd chair, 3rd chair and on down. There are sometimes further divisions, such as a second flute section which has its own 1st chair, 2nd chair, etc. It is a pretty straight-forward ranking system. As a rule of thumb, everyone knows that the person who sits on either side of you is one step “better” or one step “worse” than you. At this summer camp, I made the intermediate (Red) band by the skin of my teeth. I was the last chair flute. But, it didn’t matter, because I was happy to be in the same band as my friends. We were teenagers hanging out on a college campus, feeling independent, without a care in the world.
This band camp had a competitive edge. Campers were allowed to challenge another musician in order to try to move up in seating. Once a challenge was laid, the two students would meet with a director to compete against each other. The director decided which musician won the challenge—if the challenger won, then the two musicians would change places in the seating chart; if the challenger lost the battle, then everyone stayed in their own seat. Several days into the camp, I was surprised to learn that I was being challenged. The 1st chair flutist from the beginner (White) band challenged me. I instantly realized that this was trouble. If I lost the challenge, then I would have to switch places with the challenger, and thus, move down into the beginner (White) band. I was beside myself with worry.
I realized that losing my spot in the Red band would mean that I would be on a completely different schedule than my friends. Different practice time, different free time, different pool time, different meal time. Nothing would be the same. I knew that I would be lost if I was banished to the White band. I became a bundle of nerves. And, the challenger from the White band quickly became a villain. The person who was trying to ruin my camp experience.
Did you ever feel that someone else’s success would affect you negatively? Or that someone else was interfering by upsetting the status quo? I think immediately of a young family whose second child has just arrived. The oldest child, who has had the full attention of Mom and Dad is like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's going on here? My life is changing right from under me & I don't like it one bit!”
Did you ever feel threatened by someone's success? A new go-getter employee was just hired. An energetic neighbor has joined the leadership board. A new faster athlete just arrived on the team. A person with "great ideas" has suddenly arrived. Did you ever feel like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's going on here? My life is changing right from under me & I don't like it one bit!”
Do you resent the person who is trying to get ahead? Do you label that person as the villain? I hear people talk about it all the time. There are generational villains (those young people!, those old-timers!), ethnic villains (those immigrants!, those rednecks!), political villains (those liberals!, those conservatives!), religious villains (those Muslims!, those evangelicals!), and on and on and on. You’ve heard it, too. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's going on here? My life is changing right from under me & I don't like it one bit! Those people are trying to mess up my life!!”
But, are they? Really?
At band camp, the challenge was set. I arrived at the director’s office & completed my challenge audition. I waited for the villain to complete her audition & then finally got the news I so desperately wanted to hear. I won the challenge! I could stay put in the Red band and the villain would stay put in the White band . My camp life could return to normal. I remember discussing whether I should challenge the next person, hoping that I could move up a chair out of the hot seat. But, I really can’t remember if I did or not. I remained a little nervous, looking over my shoulder concerned that I might get challenged again. But it didn’t happen, and I completed the whole camp as a member of the Red band. I am so thankful that my 16-year-old self wasn’t put through the angst of losing my place in the band. It would have been traumatic for me and made for a very crummy summer.
For an interesting story of another time when I felt threatened by go-getters that interfered with my comfort level, read the post Grad School Lessons. Eager underclassmen infiltrated our graduate school, causing me to say, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's going on here? My life is changing right from under me & I don't like it one bit!”
I think we all struggle with the prospect of change. Change can be incredibly painful and excruciatingly hard. Not all change is good change. Changes in relationships, health, employment, living conditions, and other aspects of life, can challenge us in ways we could never imagine. But, we define ourselves in the way that we rise up to the challenge. How we respond to change sets the tone for how we live our lives.
If you feel challenged by change, take heart with these wise words…
“The only constant in life is change.”
Greek philosopher Heraclitus, circa 500 BCE
"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance."
Alan Watts
"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."
C. S. Lewis
It is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be.
Isaac Asimov
And remember, it's OK to glance in the rear-view mirror, but don't get stuck looking at what's behind you. Sometimes you have to move on and accept the new challenge in front of you. Best of luck to you as you tackle the changes! Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.....turn and face the stranger....